Monkey Suits & Foundation Garments

Thanks to all my loyal readers who stick by me, even though the bloggin' has been spotty lately. (There at least 3 loyal readers, of that I'm sure!) I know that they will understand that the time between Thanksgiving and New Year's is the hopping-est time of year here at the bar & grill.

You've heard me say before that bartenders and hair dressers on the front lines of mental healthcare in this country. I sure don't know what it is about the holidays that seems to act as magnifying glass to people's problems, but that's the truth. If people feel, deep inside, that they're unhappy or lonely the holidays only tend to make those problems one big gorilla.

People just want somebody to listen, and let them know that somebody is at least paying attention to what's going on with them - and that I am most happy to do. It is my opinion though, that people are way too hard on themselves.

There hasn't been much in my life that would make good bloggin' fodder, cause my life isn't exactly a page turner. It's kinda boring in fact, since Randall James bought his townhouse. And the closest I get to a socialite is when I read about the soiree's in the society column of the Cumberland City Gazette. Of all the socialites, I'll have to say that "Bunny" Maplethorpe is my favorite. She must have a gaziilion frequent flier miles!

But surprise of suprises - Leon got an invitation to a Christmas doing that's being put on by the Underground Contractor's Association. It seems that these aren't just any "ditch digging" guys, because this is a black tie affair down in the city. I think these guys are in charge of big projects, like the deep tunnel. And...we're going to be staying in a fancy hotel. I'm sure those bellboys are gonna notice my luggage ain't Louis Vuitton, but I don't think they'll tell anyone. I will have to remove those hot pink pom-poms from the handle. They come in handy at the airport but might stick out in the lobby of a five star hotel.

Leon had to go order a tux, and I thought it might be a good idea to accompany him on that trip. I sure didn't want him to come home with a baby blue tux and a ruffled shirt. It's just occurred to me that I've never seen the man in a tuxedo. After all, we got married in the judge's chambers over at the court house. So this should be fun.

NOTE TO MALE READERS - Following is a description of my "ensemble".....which Kitty Cartwell assures me is pronounced - on-somb. I don't know about that, but I'll take her word. So, if you don't want to be lulled to sleep, skip past this portion.

I will be wearing a black velvet skirt, gold satin shell, and a Chinese brocade jacket. HEY! I gotta do my part for the emerging Chinese economy. Black hose, and black velvet shoes. OH, and some of those dangly earrings that they're calling chandelier earrings. I was thinking about some kind of necklace, but age and gravity have done things to the neck, and I thought it wasn't wise to call attention to that part of the anatomy.

I'm hoping not to stick out like a bumpkin that just fell off the turnip truck, but who knows? One thing I know for sure, I can hold my own in any conversation. And as Kathryn Hepburn told someone once...."Just be fascinating darling". And that's what I aim to do. If they don't like my package, they're gonna love my personality.

I don't think the social editor at the Cumberland City Gazette is gonna want to report my escapades at the Underground Contractors Ball, but maybe, just maybe, some mom sitting at home with 4 kids and a dog, who only gets out to the grocery store might want to hear about it. I think that's a given, because I used to be that woman, and I lived on a diet of other people's exciting lives for quite awhile. It gets you through the day, I'll tell you.

So, wish me luck. And send me any suggestions you might have about hair or makeup. Thanks kiddos.

Comments

[joseph]

9XyTAX http://djg8Dnw3NxU82k0Skg.com

[cate]

Hi Ruby, I just stumbled across your diner. I love it. What a pleasure. After searching through 4 billion blogs on rss feeds...what a pleasure to find you. Thanks for the great read.

[barb]

p.s. - your "onsomb" sounds great!

[barb]

hi, Aunt Ruby! nice to see you back!

i can't *wait* to hear about the ball! and i'm just a wife too sick to work with 4 cats and orders groceries online. ^_^ i'm so excited for you!!!!!

now that i have our scanner working again (i think), i'll have to scan pics from our wedding--we got married in City Hall and wore jeans. ^_^

[Ruby]

Feel free to quote me David. I am flattered, as a matter of fact. Woo Hoo.

[David]

Hi ya Ruby:

Golly gee I sure do miss you when you don't blog. You are way to far away for me to drop in to shoot the breeze at the grill so I look forward to your perodic epistles.

I know that you and Leon will knock em dead at the ball. You both sound like will you will be dressed to the "T" and will look just "MARVELOUS!!!!"

Your line "If they don't like my package, they will love my personality." is a keeper and I would like to use it as Quote of the day on my blog if that is alright with you? I hope you feel that stealing your stuff is the highest form of flattery.

Have a wonderful holiday if I don't hear from you before.

All the best,

One of your 3 known fans,

David

[GeezLuWeez]

Remember the movie "True Lies" when Jamie Lee Curtis stops in the hall of the fancy hotel, gets water from a vase and slicks her hair back?
I can see you doing that.

Have a blast Ruby!